I think my friend's suicidal

Has your friend ever mentioned wanting it all to stop, that he or she can't take it any more... or said things like "Everyone would be better off without me"?
These are warning signs.

When a person says that he or she is thinking about suicide, always take the comments seriously. Assuming that the person is only seeking attention is a very serious, and potentially disastrous, error.
Get help immediately.

What are other warning signs?
I've seen some of these signs. What should I do?
Is there anything I shouldn't do?
Is there anything else?
Is this an emergency? Should I call 911?

---

What are other warning signs?

Serious warning signs usually involve preparation to die:

• property being given away
• detailed suicide plans (method, day)
• either a total lack of care or a strangely renewed spirit

Planning a funeral or making a will are morbid but not necessarily a sign of suicidal intentions. If they're not being done as part of general financial planning you should ask your friend if he or she is feeling depressed.

I've seen some of these signs. What should I do?

1. Encourage your friend to talk to you. Don't judge him for whatever he says. Don't offer solutions or answers to his problems unless he specifically says something like "What can I do?" or "What do you think?"
   Most of the time, people who are feeling this low just want someone to hear them.

   Say things like "that sounds hard" or "I wish I could help". Listen attentively. Try to find out if there is something in particular that is causing these feelings.

2. Give a hug. Physical contact can help break down barriers particularly if you don't know what to say. You might be surprised at how much someone may need a hug.

3. Let the person know that you are deeply worried.

4. You need to know how far planning has gone. Asking questions will not put ideas into someone's head. Chances are, they've already thought about it.

   Ask the person, "Are you feeling so bad that you are thinking about suicide?"
   If the answer is yes, ask, "Have you thought about how you would do it?"
   If the answer is yes, ask, "Do you have what you need to do it?"
   If the answer is yes, ask, "Have you thought about when you would do it?"
   The more planning that someone has put into a suicide, the greater the risk.
   If the person has a method and a time in mind, the risk is extremely high and you must not hesitate to call 911 or 1-800-SUICIDE to get professional help immediately.

5. If your friend talks about using a firearm that he or she owns for suicide, call the police immediately so they may remove the firearm(s). People who use a firearm in a suicide attempt usually do not survive.

Is there anything I shouldn't do?

• DON'T leave a potentially suicidal person alone, even for a minute. (Don't let him/her lock the bathroom door.)

• Don't say "I know how you feel" unless you have personally been in the same place. There's nothing worse than a person who has never been depressed saying "I know how you feel". You can't. It's not a lack of understanding or empathy on your part, but people who have never been there have no idea what it's like. Even if a close friend or family member has been depressed or suicidal before, it's not the same as being there yourself.

• Don't agree to keep a secret of suicidal intentions.

• Don't accept a sealed note "just in case" or "for later". This is a serious sign that planning has reached the final stages. Seek help immediately.

• Don't minimize the situation or try to brush it off ("You'll feel better tomorrow").

• Don't encourage a suicidal person to drink alcohol or take drugs (unless it is medication prescribed by a doctor)

• Don't over-commit yourself and break a promise. The last thing a suicidal person needs is someone to let him/her down.

Is there anything else?

Be aware of the trends. Women are more likely to use drugs and alcohol to overdose, or to sever an artery. Men are more likely to use a gun or asphyxiation (including hanging).

If you think it is necessary, remove anything you think might be used: any sharp objects including scissors, alcohol, pills (especially analgesics such as acetaminophen or sleeping pills), firearms, etc.

NEVER LEAVE A SUICIDAL PERSON ALONE.

Is this an emergency? Should I call 911?

Overwhelming suicidal thoughts are considered a medical emergency. If you think your friend may be making a suicide attempt, or has already, call 911. This is not a hoax call.

If you think your friend may make a suicide attempt, do not leave him/her alone.
Stay calm. Seek help.